Tense
I've been so tense lately. I don't know exactly why, but it got to the point yesterday that after almost a month, I found myself ravaging through the glove compartment SURE I had a stash of ladies cigars tucked away. THEY HAD TO BE THERE!!!
Alas, they were not. My last hope of trying to relax. I took a walk instead. A very short, very cold walk. But it kick-started my thoughts.
I'm dying to write again. I can feel something forming, it just doesn't break through. Times are changing, life is changing, and this is always when my pen begins to flow. As I prepare for the great unknown, interviewing renters, clearing out clutter, and taking an asessment of my life, I feel lost and excited and somewhat scared. I still can't believe I'm moving.
I'm will be mobile again. Opportunities are calling, and I'm not one to sit back and let them pass by. Will I finally visit New York? Los Angeles? I can't help but wonder if a home with my boyfriend... a long distance relationship that is begging to be re-fed... will give me the chance to travel some more. When I'm finally with him, will he let me go again to pursue other ventures?
I've been so tense lately. I don't know exactly why, but it got to the point yesterday that after almost a month, I found myself ravaging through the glove compartment SURE I had a stash of ladies cigars tucked away. THEY HAD TO BE THERE!!!
Alas, they were not. My last hope of trying to relax. I took a walk instead. A very short, very cold walk. But it kick-started my thoughts.
I'm dying to write again. I can feel something forming, it just doesn't break through. Times are changing, life is changing, and this is always when my pen begins to flow. As I prepare for the great unknown, interviewing renters, clearing out clutter, and taking an asessment of my life, I feel lost and excited and somewhat scared. I still can't believe I'm moving.
I'm will be mobile again. Opportunities are calling, and I'm not one to sit back and let them pass by. Will I finally visit New York? Los Angeles? I can't help but wonder if a home with my boyfriend... a long distance relationship that is begging to be re-fed... will give me the chance to travel some more. When I'm finally with him, will he let me go again to pursue other ventures?
I feel blown by the wind, but with a sense that I'm both in and out of control of the course it blows. So much spinning, and spiraling-- An old friend came back in my life after months and months of parting courses. It was a reconnection that needed healing, talking, and making ammends. These loose ends are being tied up all over my life. I'm holding on and letting go and saving money for a feeling I may need it soon.
Today my jumbled thoughts spill out clinging to one another.
Time, as always, is my best friend and my worst enemy when it offers the chance to make things right and mix them all up again.
Time, as always, is my best friend and my worst enemy when it offers the chance to make things right and mix them all up again.
